In Search of Being Human

All the time I feel I must justify my existence. Prince Charles

This year, I’m going to relax. I’m going to act like I belong here. I am not going to floss to gain a dentist’s esteem. I am not going to try to top your joke to show that I still got it. I am not going to drop 2 quarters in the charity bowls at a restaurant so the cashier will think I’m worthy. I will stop making lame excuses for being late. Yes, I am going to stop my efforts to prove myself worthy of being.

The fact is: I am.

The fact is: I didn’t do anything to make myself possible. Yet here I am; actual and real. It’s like finding yourself riding on an exclusive train and then the conductor walks up the aisle and says, “Ticket, please.” You anxiously search your pockets – only to finally pull out your naked hand.

“Yes,” he says examining your palm, “Yes, this will do very nicely. Welcome aboard.” Then he walks to the next person.

This year I’m going to look at my naked hand and repeat the conductor’s words, “Yes, this will do very nicely. Welcome aboard.” I am going to look at my hand and remember that existence was handed to me.

And then I am going to ride this train like I belong there. I will floss – because it is wise. I will joke – because it is fun. I will give – because I was given to. I will relax and ride this train all the way to the end. No more excuses and rationalizations. My seat is a gift. And the only proper response to a gift is to enjoy it with wisdom, gratitude and generosity.

Written by Roger Edwards of the Barnabus Center in Charlotte, NC