Reducing

Reducing is not fun. The benefits are though. No, I am not talking about losing weight although the similarities often overlap. I am referring to, as John the Baptist said, "He must increase and I must decrease." (John 3:30)

Not too long ago I was asking a friend questions that correspond with Titus 2 about what older women are to ask younger women. I being the older woman of the group felt like that was a good place to start concerning our being accountable. Titus 2 says, "younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." We had a good conversation. I asked specifically about being busy at home. We talked a little about what that meant. Both of them work outside the home, and I do not, anymore anyway. I have been mulling this around in my heart lately. Thats where the "reducing" comes in.

Almost two years ago I had a ministry, a job that I loved, and a home filled with a myriad of activities. In one day it was taken away. I have been mourning ever since. I have fought, cajoled, begged, been depressed, been angry, been miserable, prayed and prayed and prayed. Every time I think an opportunity comes up God has slammed the door shut. Every time I have felt like, OK I will go there and do that, I will be busy doing this, I will minister or teach or do whatever over there, bang closes the door. I have been forced to as Psalm 137:1 says, "By the waters of Babylon there we sat down and wept, when we remembered Zion." God took the temple and temple worship away from His children and they were sitting by the banks of the waters of Babylon, wishing for the past. Little did they know that this was ushering the Messiah.

What does this have to do with Titus 2, and about being busy at home? I have missed the forest for the blessings of the trees. I must admit there have been days when I have sat in bed and felt utterly sorry for myself, but God has given me a ministry and it is at home. I don't always get the admiration at home as I did at my teaching job, I don't always hear how smart I am, or organized I am, but God has called me to serve my family whether I get what I think I deserve or not. He is teaching me much on the banks of the river of Babylon. Character issues I could never learn anywhere else; servanthood, selflessness, dying to live, waiting, patience, faith in God Himself not His blessings, dependence, and without prayer nothing is accomplished, without Him nothing is worth doing or living for. In some ways I am waiting and in other ways I am learning that I have everything I need and I don't have to wait to live now!

But waiting is hard. Waiting on what? I don't know what. I don't know where, or I don't know when. I don't even know if ever. So, I need to live for now, with the relationships that God has blessed me with not looking forward, or backward. But at the same time learning from the past and looking for Home. My story is being woven not for my story but for His, and I can trust that the reducing that I am going through is to make me more like Jesus. That is a story I am looking forward to, and at the same time, it makes me long for Home.

Waiting on the Bridegroom.................Lynn

Wayward Walking

Walking in the woods today I was going over a very familiar path, but lo, most of the trails were now covered over by a blanket of color. As I continually found myself getting off track, it reminded me of the many similar times in my journey with the Lord that I also take detours. I am not talking about huge scandals or anything like that, I am talking about the daily battle of dying to self, not relying on me or my circumstances, listening to the siren song of the world, or on-going forgetfulness of just how dependent I am on Jesus. I am convinced that it is in these little waywardnesses of life that the larger scandals are then born. Read what James has to say about what gives birth to sin and how it occurs:

^13"When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; ¹⁴but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. ¹⁵Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

^16"Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. ¹⁷Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ¹⁸He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."

How often in a day am I tempted to think that I am in control, that I can change my families hearts, that I can change my own heart, and that I can get to a place where I slide through life on my own? There is not a day when I am to forget about the battle, and my heart has to continually be steered back on the path when the leaves of pride, self-righteousness, and self sufficiency cover my path. The continual battle for sanctification is and will always be fought in whether the Word of God is supreme in my life. It must be read, studied, applied and obeyed, in order to know just where to trod.

As I was re-walking the paths that I had already gone over at least once, it reminded me of just how much I need to get my map from the only one who knows where I am to go next. That path maybe the path of suffering, where disappointment tries to over take me, and then I am to recognize that all good gifts come from above, and they are often come in wrappings that I would never choose.

Isaiah 30:21 (New International Version)

²¹ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Five Word Monologue

Shun, Sacred, Affection, Electric, Breath



Five Word Monologue Challenge by Upsidedownbee.


It was almost like the wind was coming in the window beside my bed powered by an electric fan. I reached up to my right in order to at least pull the shade down so that the breath of nature would not be smacking me in the face, but I was struck by the fact that it seemed very still outside. It was one of those mornings that the aura and the color of the air was yellow in hue. It was almost like the world was jaundiced, and still. Where was the wind coming from?

I decided to throw on a pair of jeans, a sweat shirt and my running shoes and descend outside without even drinking my coffee. Something was calling me outside. I wanted to know what that voice was. It wasn't an audible voice, not one that I could make out anyway. It was more like my heart was being drawn into the sights and sounds and be among the living. This was not normal behavior for me. Although I like going outside running, walking, and digging in the dirt, I am not compelled by an unseen hand to drop everything and journey to the woods.

I grabbed the dog's leashes and with an affectionate pat on their heads we found ourselves on the trail. The air was chilly, the kind of cold that comes in the Fall when Summer is finally on its way out, at least until next year. The kind of cold that puts a little excitement into your bones, as you anticipate the new season. I was surprised that I wasn't even sleepy anymore. It takes me a while to wake up, but I was awake and alert to what I was going to find, if anything.

As we came to the bend in the trail where the creek winds down and snakes across our regular path, I felt a sense of the sacred as another electric fan breeze cascaded across my face. Even the dogs stopped to notice. I decided it was time to stop and sit down on the old abandoned log that was a daily part of our excursion through the woods. I could hear the gentle sound of the creek, the dropping of the many acorns, and nuts as they blanketed the woods all around us. I kept expecting one of them to hit me on the top of the head, but it never did. There were literally thousands covering the trail at my feet. Every once in a while one of the dogs would bring me an excessively large one and want me to throw it like I would toss a tennis ball for them to retrieve. Soon even the dogs were settled there in the woods not really trying to play, run, or hike, just content to sit and wait for me their master. I thought about the times when I shun times like these because of busyness, apathy, or self serving doings. It reminded me of the verses where Jesus visited the home of Mary and Martha:

³⁸As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

⁴¹"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

The Spirit had called me, me, why would He call me to go out into the woods, to enjoy the Creators beauty and to fellowship with Him? I have many traits like Martha. I ask Him into my house, I work to put food on the table for Him, and His workers, and then I wonder why He doesn't help me like I expect or envision in my endeavors. How arrogant, and self centered my heart is. But here on this day, He called me to a special time of just delighting in Him. Me, the dogs, and few squirrels, and the God of the Universe. May I continue to listen more to the breeze of your Spirit as He woos me, and draws me, even in the woods.

What Letterman can teach us about the Gospel

Ken had this on his blog, and it is good stuff.

http://www.russellmoore.com/2009/10/04/what-david-letterman-can-teach-us-about-the-gospel/

Anxiety

Just was reading a section out of A Praying Life by Paul Miller, and it really spoke to me. I am very anxious this week about things I have to get done. I couldn't go to sleep last night, which has put me behind in the energy department. But this was what I read: "Instead of fighting anxiety, we can use it as a springboard to bending our hearts to God. Instead of trying to suppress anxiety, manage it, or smother it with pleasure, we can turn our anxiety toward God. When we do that, we'll discover that we've slipped into continuous praying. Anxiety wants to be God but lacks God's wisdom, power or knowledge. A godlike stance without godlike character and ability is pure tension. Because anxiety is self on it's own, it tries to get control. It is unable to relax in the face of chaos. Once the problem is solved, the next in line steps ups. The new one looms so large, we forget the last deliverance. We return to sanity by becoming like little children, resting on our mothers."

¹ My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

² But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Psalm 131:1-2

The Samurai by Shusako Endo

A couple of years ago I read a wonderful book The Samurai by Shusako Endo, I think I read it as a part of a Book Club. I still think of that book. Very heavy, but very thoughtful. One that I would love to read again. I used it as a Thanksgiving mediation that I led at church that year. Here it is, very similar to what I am reading philosophically in Broken-Down House, but in novel form.

Premise (for the mediation that I lead):

We have come to believe that the blessings of God are deserved. Abundant life is then squashed under the weight of our expectations.

Having a Biblical Worldview means to change ones mind about major issues of life.

1. The Fall has caused life to be full of thorns and thistles.
2. The reality of life is much worse than we think it is.
3. American Christianity is in complete denial.
4. The Christian life, the abundant Christian life happens as we die.
5. We need a change of mind on what it means to live the “abundant” Christian life.

Christ’s Life:

Isaiah 53

Jesus; “was despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows acquainted with grief.”

Quote from; The Samurai by Shusako Endo

“At daybreak the guards wrapped the priest’s body in a straw mat and took it away. His arms and legs, which poked out from the mat, were as spindly as needles, covered with dirt and caked in mud. As I watched the scene with Luis Sasada, I had a flash like a revelation from Heaven. This was reality. No matter how much we try to camouflage or idealize it, the real world is as wretched as the dirt stained, mud-caked corpse of Father Vasquez. And the Lord did not avoid this miserable reality. For even the Lord died covered in sweat and dirt. And through His death, He cast a sudden light upon the realities of this world.”

“As I think back on it now, I feel as though the Lord gave me all those setbacks so that He could force me to look this reality in face. I t is as though my vanity, my pride, my haughtiness, and my thirst for conquest all existed for the purpose of shattering everything that I idealized, so that I could see the true state of the world. But, as the Lord’s death pierced that reality with light, in order that my death may someday pierce Japan.”

More on Broken-Down House

I have seemingly so very much to do, but here I am blogging again. Upsidedownbee complains she doesn't get her laundry done because of blogging, this week I have done the laundry but I haven't walked all week! I feel pretty yucky. But, I am here blogging away.

Ok to the subject at hand. Last evening I posted about a couple of books that Paul David Tripp has written that have had a profound impact on me. This morning the chapter that I read in Broken-Down House has stunned me. The chapter is 10 and the title is Be Good and Angry. He has changed my thinking about anger in a very profound way.

Those of you who know me know that I am prone to depression. I have learned a great deal through my depression, it has actually brought me closer to Jesus as I have fought the good fight through it. Anger is a type of depression. Tripp makes the case that God is angry, that isn't anything new, but he discusses righteous anger in a way that I hadn't thought about before. "In a world that has been terribly broken by sin, in a world where nothing operates as was intended, and in a world where evil often has more immediate influence than good, it would be wrong not to be angry....In a fallen world, anger is a good thing. In a fallen world, anger is a constructive thing. In a fallen world anger is an essential thing. That is, if the anger is about something bigger than you." (p. 128-129) So often in my life I have seen anger as the unforgivable sin. Therefore, if it is the unforgivable sin, then what to do about it? Also, I redirect my anger at the wrong things, or I feel guilty about the anger at the right things! How convoluted is that? With depression, let's just point it inward. Isn't that the safest place? That way, I don't really look like a bad Christian, a bad wife, or a bad mother, just one that is "depressed."

Tripp says, "In a fallen world, people of character and conscience will always be angry." (p. 129) "For people who have accepted God's calling on their lives, for people who claim to be living for something bigger than their own happiness, and for people who profess to be committed to what is right, true, loving and good, such anger is a calling. You cannot be like God and be free of anger as long as you live in a sin-broken world." (p. 129-130) He says this kind of righteous anger is definitely different from just being angry at not getting my own way. This is an underlying anger at the suffering and heartache of this sin soaked world. This is profound to me. That validates some of the underlying anger in my life. There are times when I should feel angry. I look at the world, the country, and the culture around me, and I get angry. I see sin in me and my family, and I should get angry. Anger can be a huge motivator for change. Passivity is thrown out when enough righteous anger is around. Maybe those around us who have an anger problem should look at it a bit differently. That underlying anger that just seems to be under the surface at all times needs to be challenged towards sin, misery, and injustice. Those of us that are passive need to be more angry.

Tripp makes the great case of how God is angry. "His hunger for right is so strong that he will not relent until wrong has been completely destroyed. He will not rest until evil is no more and justice and righteousness reign forever and ever! Where do we see both sides of God's anger coming together in one moment? On that hill outside the city gates where Jesus hung. That is where we see justice and mercy kiss. If God were incapable of anger, there would have been no cross. You see, anger is one of God's most beautiful characteristics. For God's children, anger is a place of bright hope. Because he is righteously angry with sin every day, we can rest assured that everything sin has broken will be restored. Everything sin has twisted will be straightened. Everything that has gone wrong will be made right again. God's anger assures us that all things will be made new." (p. 131-132)

I really believe the more I mull over these thoughts, the more I will be changed. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I am going to be working on it.

A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller

I am in the midst of several quality books. One that I want to highlight this morning: A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller is one that I have gotten into and do not want to let go or let down. I am not going to go into much detail, the title speaks for itself, but I do want to set down some quotes that are pretty profound.

"You'd think if Jesus was the Son God, He wouldn't need to pray or at least he wouldn't need a specific prayer time because He'd be in a constant state of prayer." p. 43

"If you know that you, like Jesus, can't do life on your own then prayer makes complete sense."

"Jesus defines Himself only in relationship with His heavenly Father. Adam and Eve began their quest for self-identity after the Fall. Only after thy acted independently of God did they have a sense of a separate self. If you are not praying, then you are quietly confident that time, money, and talent are all you need, in life." p. 44-45

"Time in prayer makes you even more dependent on God because you don't have as much time to get things done. Every minute spent in prayer is one less minute where you can be doing something 'productive.' so the act of praying means that you have to rely more on God."

Autonomy?

Literature is a gift. Of course when we think of the gift of literature we think of the writing of literature, the creativity of literature and the intellectual abilities that it takes to put a piece of quality literature together. Who can forget the times in our lives though when a story, a poem, or a novel touched us in profound ways. That also is a gift of God. C. H. Spurgeon, the great 18th century theologian and preacher has said that he read Pilgrim's Progress every year of his adult life, C. S. Lewis read George McDonald stories over and over, and other greats have had their stories that they returned to over and over again. This has also been a gift of mine as well. I return time after time, and over and over again to Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, in novel form and movie form. What a gift to be able to re-read, re-digest, and learn new things at every new exposure. Only special types of literature do that. I say all that because once again I have learned something new from Gandalf and Company.

There is a scene in the movie, and it is exactly the same in the book, where Frodo is pleading with Gandalf to take the ring of power. Frodo doesn't want it, he knows that the deceiver is plotting the return of the ring for his possession, and so he suggests that Gandalf take it, who is he, Frodo, but a measly ole Hobbit. Gandalf, very gently at first, says to Frodo, "I cannot take the ring." But as Frodo continues to beg him to take it, he gets more agitated and firm and says to Frodo, "I cannot take the ring, do not tempt me Frodo. I would use the ring under the guise of doing good, but through me it would wield something terrible." I was thinking about that exchange this morning under the category of sovereignty, or being personally autonomous. We as humans are always trying to make believe, pretend, and live as if we are completely autonomous. As Christians we know we aren't, but don't we try to live that way anyway? Thinking we can do it our way life will be so much better than God's. We after all have a better handle on our lives than God does. God is creator, that means He made us and He owns us.

We all struggle with the idea of His absolute sovereignty, His Lordship, His ownership. We hit those moments when we think we know better. But the fact remains that if God granted us more power we in our sinfulness would "wield a power through me that would be terrible." How much do we underestimate our sinful hearts, redeemed yes, but sin has entered into all areas of our lives, and we will not be rid of it until Glory. It is by God's grace that He limits our power over our lives! There is not one gift that we would use, no power, or tool, or ability, or authority that we would not be inclined to distort and abuse. Our personal autonomy, being a misnomer anyway, is also something we wouldn't want even if we attained it. Gandalf has once again illustrated a magnificent truth that paints a picture of veracity for us to gaze and meditate on. Thank you Mr. Tolkein. Can't wait to sit with you on the banks of the Jordan one day, and speak of Elves, Hobbits, and Ents. Where did the Ent wives go anyway?

Sanctification by Grace

Q. 35. What is sanctification?

A. Sanctification is the work of God's free grace, whereby we are renewed in the whole man after the image of God, and are enabled more and more to die unto sin, and live unto righteousness.

As time goes on I am more and more amazed at God's process of growing us into the people of God. My definition of sanctification comes from the Westminster Shorter Catechism and has not changed in a very long time, but God has changed my understanding over the years. Notice the bold print, a work of God's free grace. God's free grace saved us, and God's free grace sanctifies us as well.

I have been reading the life of Jacob over the last couple of weeks, and in all the Patriarchs grace definitely shines through this man's life. Brought up in a dysfunctional family where his mother was the epitome of the manipulative mother, and where his father also wanted God's way but wanted to do it his way. They both knew the promise that God had said that the older would serve the younger, the brothers inheritance would be inverted by the cultural standards, and that from the younger brother would come many nations. Both Mom and Dad tried to by pass doing it God's way by scheming all on their own. Jacob came from a family not too terribly different from our families.

He does get the blessing, but high tails it out of sight so his brother won't kill him. He searches for a wife, in the right clan, but finds himself shocked when he wakes up next to Leah after the wedding, and has the audacity to complain to Laban that, he, Jacob has been deceived! After working for the real love of his life, Rachel, she does become his wife, but cannot conceive. She thinks if she only has a child then she will be truly happy, and she begs for a son or die. Little does she know that the next Son she does bear, Benjamin, she will die. Jacob finally wrestles with God, and God wins. He really does win. He goes back to his brother, repents before Esau, and all seems like it will go smooth. No, Jacob is supposed to go back to Bethel, but he goes and buys a plot of land about 20 miles away. Before that Esau has invited him to his place, and Jacob says, well maybe he will take him up on it. Sounds to me like Jacob got scared of his brother. He really had no intention of doing what Esau suggested, because immediately he takes off and goes in the opposite direction, it's ok to deceive if you're scared! He gets 20 miles away from Bethel and settles down near Shechem. Bad move. His sons go wild, his daughter is raped, and some other really bad things happen to him and his clan before he decides that he should go on to Bethel and the Promised Land. Whew! Life with Jacob has it all; murder, rape, deceit, manipulation. Yet, he is God's man. God does bring him back, one of his sons saves a nation, and one son goes on to be in the line of Christ. Amazing.

What does this have to do with sanctification? Let's make some applications from the life of Jacob, the man whom God loved. Sanctification is a process, a journey where we fall, where we fail miserably, whereby we learn that we are but dust, clay in the potters hands to be molded and made into His likeness for His purposes not our own. Jacob shows us that we really do live in a fallen world, and as believers we do not have a get out of jail free card in order to avoid it. We live in a broken world with broken hearts all around, and we too are broken needing the grace of a savior daily. God meets us in our brokenness, and never lets us go. We are saved by grace and we are sanctified by grace. Jacob knew after he had wrestled with "the man" that he could not over power this God that he served. Yet he tries once again to live as close to Bethel as he could without really living there. Jacob disobeyed, wrestled, deceived, manipulated, caused strife between his family members, repented, and limped for the rest of his life. And God calls him holy, set apart for His glory. Doesn't sound too much different from the life I lead either. Maybe I haven't murdered anyone, but Christ gave us a definition of murder that fits my heart at times. Let's not talk about the manipulation tendencies that I have and the actualities, or the lust for anything that has pleasure written on it. Let's not even talk about anger, or anxiety. Am I kidding myself when I think these petty "little" sins don't have consequences for me or the ones I love?

God's grace is all encompassing. He uses it all, changes us, transforms us, loves us, and gently shows us that it isn't all about me anyway. It makes me want to fall down on my knees and cry; "Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is to come." His love compels me onward, His grace keeps me, and His sovereign purposes shelter me. Oh, love that will not let me go.

Longings

Revelation 21:1-7

1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth,

for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.

2And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God,

prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.

4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,

and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
5And he who was seated on the throne said,

"Behold, I am making all things new."

Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

6And he said to me,

"It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega,

the beginning and the end. To the thirsty

(whoever wishes)

I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. "

As little girls we all wish for our knight in shining armor to come to rescue us from the danger that is in this big, scary world.

Some where along the way, we realize that the knight is never coming, and the danger is ever present.

In an earlier generation, there was a saying, "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride." If our little girl wishes would only come true then we would ride off into the sunset into the land of contentment, constant love, and no more pain or tears.

Our Knight has come.

He has conquered all for us, but we continue to dwell in the land of wishes.

In one of the older translations, of Revelation 21, it adds the phrase (whoever wishes) may come and drink from the water that is free, to us.

Right now, we live in the land of wishes, unkept promises, unfulfilled dreams and longings that are never met. They cause us pain, and tears that fall, and keep our hearts wishing for something different. It is not the same for everyone. We all carry burdens that can never be resolved, or lifted.

Wishing we were someone other than who we are, wishing we had different parents, different backgrounds, gifts, money or looks. Wishing we had not said what we said, did what we did, or not have done what we could have.

Those particular hard places that hurt every time they are thought of,

are particularly at risk.

This places us down the path of deception and denial.

We begin lieing about ourselves, and to ourselves, our situations, and others. Making ourselves, our situations and others smaller or larger than they should be.

Being completely honest about our lives is the hardest thing we do. The tighter hold that pride has on our lives, the harder it is to see reality.

Our heavenly Knight keeps the longing alive in His bride. The longing for unconditional love, (have you heard that phrase tossed around?) We can have unconditional love if we only.......But we constantly get it wrong.

The longing for a peaceful life, children who follow the Lord, husbands that are unselfish. We chase after His earthly gifts in order to find Him. He then has to increase our thirst, our longing, our desires, and our stages of discontent.

He only wants us to have eyes for Him. Not because He is a meglamanic, but,

"He has made us for Himself, and we are restless until we find our peace in Him."

Augustine, Confessions

As the branch cannot bear fruit without the vine, so we cannot do anything apart from Him. How come I stay in the land of wishes most of the time? When abundant life is waiting, and the fulfillment of that life, life eternal is mine as well.

Glorifying God

The Westminster Catechism tells us that we are here to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Have you ever pondered about how this happens? My view has changed over the years. At times I have begged God to glorify Himself through me by making me completely happy, completely satisfied with life, and completely, or at least "practically perfect in every way." I really don't think I would have told you that as a definition, but I lived and prayed that way. I still do in a great deal of ways. John Calvin tells us that in order to really know and glorify God for who He really is we also have to know ourselves.

I have been reading over the life of Jacob. Now here was a man that had an unbelievable start. Caught up in the beginning of with jealousy, domestic strife, and fear, he doesn't resemble a patriarch at all. Deception is his middle name, egged on by his mother who encourages him along the lines of lying, manipulation, and doing it "my way." Neither he nor his mother could wait for the promise of God to be realized God's way, so they hatch an elaborate scheme to by pass quickly God's plan. Jacob does get the blessing of his father, he does go on to be a patriarch, and he does gain the wife that was from Hebrew ancestry. He by passed the way of God and did it his way. And one morning wakes up with Leah in the bed next to him instead of Rachel. One of the first things out of his mouth to Laban after his wedding night, was, "You deceived me." Oh what does it take for God to show us our heart. The grace of God was not about to let Jacob go, but in order for Jacob to actually see and experience the grace of God, God had to show him his heart. John Piper says, "God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him." Augustine said it much earlier than Piper did, but the point is, that Jacob could not be satisfied with God's Word. God had promised him that he would be a community of peoples, he would be the promised one, he would be blessed, not his older brother. But, Jacob thought he could by pass all of this. Rebekah his mom was not the only one to blame either, his father knew of the promise that the older would serve the younger, but also thought he would by pass the promise, cause he seemed to like Esau better. This gives me great hope, not only for myself, but for my family. God's grace prevailed, even through all the sins of the family. God did not let Jacob stay in his sin either. It wasn't pleasant what Jacob had to go through, but I'm sure that the moment he blurted out those words, "you have deceived me." He saw the reality of his own heart. How often that happens to me. God's grace prevails, and His promises are always fulfilled. He is much more interested in His own veracity than I am. Calvin was right, the more we seek God, the more we will know our own hearts. The more we see our hearts and the depths of our depravity, the more God's grace is Large! We then repent, and begin to, in little ways, be much more a tune to God's glory than our own. And believe me, that is the way to truly enjoy Him!

*Dedicated to Mo, who encouraged her mom this week, by missing my blog posts!

Asking for Wisdom

Sunday night at Bible Study Ken was talking about wisdom and how we gain wisdom. He is going through the book of James, and James says to ask for wisdom when you are lacking. One of the men asked, "why don't we 'get' wisdom sometimes when we are begging for it?" Great question and Ken had a great point. James tells us to ask. The context is trials, and one of the myriad of reasons why we can "count it all joy" when we are bombarded with trials is because it reminds us once again, we are but dust. We ask because we realize in ourselves we don't have the answers. We are dependent creatures, at the mercy of God. Christ said "apart from me you can do nothing." That is where we learn a heart of wisdom, being completely dependent on Him. We learn this through a series of trials, some on going and as we "wrestle" (as Jacob did) with God, He touches us. He even, as Jacob and Paul, places an ongoing hardship in our lives to remind us over and over of our dependence on Him, and as Ken said last night to remind us we belong to Him.

John Piper on Aging

*Boy do I need to read this everyday. I never thought I would have a problem with my age, but now that I am 50 I do, not that I was ready to go out and spend money on cosmetic surgery, but I do need to remember to think Biblically about EVERYTHING. I got this from "Beauty for Ashes." Thanks Laurie. Is the picture funny or what?

Is it OK for a Christian to have cosmetic surgery to counteract some aspects of aging?

I'm laughing because I just watched my own video about not retiring, and in it I talk about 70-year-olds trying to get a tan on their leathery, hairless, splotchy skin in Arizona, and how the shorts look so ridiculous, and how these old people with their sagging skin and their hair falling out are desperately on the golf course trying to look 40 years younger. It's ridiculous.

So you can see what my attitude is. Age is a gift in the Bible. Getting old and, I suppose, losing your hair or having some gray hair is a gift. It's a sign of having been kept by God and having been brought toward ripening for heaven.

And to resist it seems to me a kind of unbelief that heaven is really good, and living a long time with God is good, and having the experience and the age to care in deeper ways for the young and share life-wisdom with them is good. Why would we want to be young-looking when we're old?

We live in a culture that is clearly youth dominated. The music is dominated by youth, and the styles are dominated by youth. And so all bodies are youthful bodies, and hardly any glory is given to age. We just need to be more biblical. It is good to grow old with God.

So I am not inclined to think I would ever counsel anybody to spend a lot of God's precious money on their looks instead of missions. OK?

---

Creational Theology Applied

TM Moore (see previous blog post) has been doing a series on Creational Theology. He defines it as seeing God in all that is around us, at least that is a shorter version. His series is 5 short lessons so far, and it is very helpful in encouraging us to really have open eyes and open ears. I have decided that I should try to write some of my own personal observations down, as he encourages us to do. So.....

Thursday I was sitting in front of a Starbucks waiting on a friend to arrive. I started noticing a sparrow hopping all around the tables looking for crumbs, or I should say non-existing crumbs to my eyes. He was eating away, enjoying his breakfast. It reminded me of some of the reasons why creational theology is important. He was first of all hungry, and second he was alert to the feast that he could find all around him. We too have to be hungry for spiritual truth and for the truth that is the person of Christ. We have to also be alert and aware of the precious crumbs that feed our souls that God scatters in front of us everyday. As the sparrow sees them because she is hungry, observant, and aware of where her subsistence comes from, and trusts enough to know it will be there, so we as believers need to see the provision our Heavenly Father puts in front of us in the moments of our days.

I will write more in the days and weeks to come.

He Speaks to me Everywhere

Chuck Colson and TM Moore have started a Worldview Center with tons of resources. One of the resources is that TM writes a daily, practical study that I have been listening to everyday. It is short and only takes a minute or two. Today his study was one I have tried to teach my students, when I was teaching. I would say, "God speaks every where in everything. You can see Him in every thing. You have to learn the Word, then train yourself to see it." I gave them a challenge then to say anything, and I would try to see how it would show me something of God. Classical education speaks of this training as an integrated approach to learning. The study from Viewpoint this morning was something I wish I could have articulated as well as TM Moore did. Take just a few minutes to read this, and also, go to their new web site. It is a gem.

http://www.colsoncenter.org/wfp-home

And I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 1:13

Solomon was wise because he understood that everything on earth has its proper place in the divine scheme of things – “under the heavens”, as he put it. Everything we see or hear, every experience and fact of creation, all of it has a place in the divine economy (Eccl. 3:1-8). And God has put eternity in our hearts – the ability to peer past mere temporal reality into the eternal counsels of God – so that we can know Him and His world, using the mind of Christ, if only imperfectly (1 Cor. 2:16; Eccl. 3:11). As we press ahead in our work of creational theology we will want to integrate our observations with the Scriptural associations they suggest. Here we will make bold to offer some concise statement concerning the glory of God which we have discerned, revealed in the things He has made.

Subscribe to Podcast

The activity of integration involves trying to put what we have observed in creation and what we know from the Scriptures into our own words, that, by doing so, we make a statement concerning what God has spoken to us about the things we have seen. Such conclusions are not to be considered normative, that is, on the same level of Scripture. Rather, they give us ways of heightening our awareness of God, enhancing our understanding of Him, deepening our experience of Him, and reflecting on His presence with us in more personal and meaningful ways. Our world may, in many ways, seem out of sorts and wrong – not what God would want it to be. But we may reflect from such observations that “This is my Father’s world: the battle is not done…” God is still bringing His redemptive work to His creation as we, His people, take up the good works for which He has redeemed us in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:19-21; Eph. 2:10). By integrating your observations with the Scriptural associations you identify, you create a means of noting and training yourself to respond to the “voice” of God as He speaks to you everywhere. That passing thunderstorm over the sun-burnt grass says, “I will never fail you nor forsake you; wait on me, and do not despair.” The reliability of your office computer and the fruitful work it allows you to produce may speak of the steadfast love and faithfulness of God, Who never sleeps, and Who causes all our work to prosper in His Name. Once you have matched your observations with relevant Scripture, integrate them into a statement, prayerfully considered, carefully crafted, and boldly set forth, that will be a record of how the glory of God has come to your attention in your daily journey with the Lord.

More of Timing and Waiting

"A wizard is never late, or early,Frodo Baggins, he arrives precisely when he means to." Frodo then throws his arms around Gandalf's neck and clings to him. The scene opened where we see Frodo sitting under the tree waiting.

I wrote the following post a month or so ago about what God impressed upon my heart then. When I get really down, I turn to Frodo, Gandalf, and Sam Wise to help my perspective. Re read the following and then I will add to it.

"............Teacher you must come, my daughter, she is terribly sick. The physicians have come and gone. They say there is nothing else for them to do, she will not make it. They tell me you are a healer. They tell me you have even expelled demons. Please, oh please, come help her. She is only twelve years old. She is my only child, I cannot lose her." On the way to to this man's house, which was quite a walk, quite a journey, a desperate woman fights the crowds, fights the attempts of the disciples of Jesus of Nazareth to move Him along. After all, Jairus, the little girl's father, is a very influential man. All she wants is to touch the corner of His cloak. As she does, immediately, Jesus stops, something, someone's faith has touched Him, His power has been tapped, and He knows it. Healing of soul and body take place, delay happens, a twelve year old is pronounced dead. Jesus deals with the woman. "A wizard arrives precisely when He means to." God's glory is revealed to a greater degree than if Jesus had been on Jarius's timetable. That's the difference between God's glory and our perspective of life. This man was fighting on another's behalf, I am fighting on my own.

Has God ever delayed on your behalf? Self absorption tells us that no one's troubles are greater than our own. God's delays are always for our good and His glory, always. What are you waiting on? Are you waiting on your own happiness, comfort, or some other expectations? God's delays are always good-and He always arrives "precisely when He means to."

God's timing is always right. I need to trust His timing. There are times when His timing seems unreliable, like right now. Will He show up when I need Him? I need Him now. The woman in Scripture waited for a long time, and she never gave up. I too am to hold on to truth even when it seems like truth will not be there.

But......."A wizard is never late, or early, He arrives precisely when He means to." Then Frodo throws his arms around the wizard's neck. Most of the time when God does arrive, I just complain and ask Him where He has been? May I wait patiently by the tree, and when my Father does show up, I throw myself in His arms and love Him.

Waiting................................Lynn

Wisdom Teeth and Spiritual Growth

Friday I took Margaret to get her wisdom teeth taken out. The rest of the day on Friday she just slept and moaned a little. Today her cheeks are chubby, not as bad as Katie's were when she had hers out, but just chubby. She can't eat all that she wants to yet. We had meat loaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli, fruit salad and garlic bread for supper and she ate two helpings of mashed potatoes, with lots of butter. It reminded me of about where I am spiritually. I feel like I am just not able to take in the "meat" I have in the past. Have you ever felt that way? I feel like I am back to a diet of soft foods, and mashed potatoes. I am back to basics in every area. Die to self, be unselfish today, be happy, don't complain, don't worry about tomorrow, all those things that I have "preached" for years to my kids. There have been times that I have thought that I had "conquered" some of those traits. God is now taken me back steps and showed me I haven't "conquered" anything, and anything that I did before, was done by His Spirit.

Margaret has had to scale back her eating because of her condition. I guess I do to.

Solitude

I was reading in a Space for God by Don Postema, which was recommended by Upsidedownbee, in Mr. Postema's chapter on solitude. We are not creatures that like it really, solitude that is. We are restless not wanting to be left alone with our thoughts. I am an introvert, that cannot possibly be me. I love being alone, don't I? I have been meditating and experimenting on this idea of solitude.

I am at the doctor's office this morning and am having my first test of solitude. I always take a book with me for the waiting room, this morning was no different, except I have forgotten my glasses. I have tried to read, but I can't, I really can't even write legibly, but I'm giving it a try. I cannot even sit here for twenty minutes without trying to "redeem" the time by writing something that could be used or useful. I can't stand the thought of being useless. Deep down my image of what I "should" be is someone that is useful. If I am not useful, then I might as well give up. Is that true though? I am having an avalanche of thoughts that need Biblical introspection, not just what the world tells us. Is this an area of my life that I have not "changed my mind" about and brought it in line with Scripture?

I need to be quiet, to listen to what my heart is telling me about myself. Then I need to bring it to the light in line with what the Bible says.......

That Evening..............

It has rained all day, and so I am on the dreaded treadmill instead of walking in the woods. I loathe the treadmill. I have tried to read while walking, but it just doesn't work for me. So, I pray. More tests of solitude. My mind wanders from person to person, event to event. And the Holy Spirit touches me deep inside myself. As I am praying I realize that people, even the people that I love deeply, are projects to be checked off. Oh Father, to love like You do. I am so tired of trying to to check people off my list of worries. I don't even think I know how to love. Teach me in my solitude, in those rare moments when reality shows it's ugly head. Why is it that I don't want to need You as much as I do? Then I suppose I am exposed for the impostor I truly am. I need You Lord. I can't even love the way You want me to. I need you. Lynn

God's Perspective

Everything negative in life whether it be loneliness, sadness, or fear, we look at as something to be shunned, avoided at all costs. When we stop and see these things or circumstances from a different perspective they are not negatives at all. Loneliness can be turned into a time when God the Father is calling you out, wooing you to be just with Him. Sadness can be a time when God wipes away all your tears as you run to Him, fear can be a time when God shows us the places of our hearts that run to anywhere, but Him. Through these times we are drawn closer and closer to the only one who can always be with us, wipe away our tears, and as a mother bird hides us under the pinions of His wings.