Waiting and Waiting

So, it has been quite a few months. I have been working on a degree from Reformed Theological Seminary, and taking a breather to wait on the Lord to see what His next step form me was. I have missed blogging, and hopefully I am back at it again.

I truly have been reducing, as I said in my last blog post. I guess I was under the impression that I would get to the place where the past didn't come up to haunt me in such a wicked way, but alas it is not like that. I have decided that I will just keep sharing what God is doing and teaching me, even if I have yet to "arrive" where I think I should be. Let us press on together. I do find that the more I write the better off I am!

It is amazing that Jesus wants to know what we want:

John 1:35-42:

“The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. 36 When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, ‘Look, the Lamb of God!’ 37 When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. 38 Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, ‘What do you want?’ They said, ‘Rabbi’ (which means Teacher), ‘where are you staying?’ 39 ‘Come,’ he replied, ‘and you will see.’ So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was about the tenth hour. 40 Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. 41The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, ‘We have found the Messiah’ (that is, the Christ). 42And he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas’ (which, when translated, is Peter).”

Jesus asks, “What do you want?” Really put some thought in to it. Do you want to be or do something ministry wise? Do you want to get out of debt? Raise godly kids? Have great friends? Live a comfortable life without money concerns? Really, what do you want?

Christ began discipling these men by getting them to verbalize what they desired. At this point, all they wanted to do was to go where He was going. When making an inventory of our deep inner desires, we have to be honest. The disciples just wanted to go where He was going; maybe out of curiosity, maybe out of pain, loneliness, or just wanting to be seen as significant by hanging out with the “right rabbi.” Jesus began right where they were. If we are not honest with Jesus about where we really are, then He has to continually get us to that place where we will be honest, sometimes that takes drastic measures. Have you ever had someone ask you about your walk with the Lord and gave the pat answer, “Oh, Jesus and me we are tight,” knowing full well you haven’t prayed in a week, or longer, haven’t read your Bible, and are only really playing Christianity. I bet you were pretty much stabbed in the heart before the words came out of your mouth. Take the knife out, and know that God wants you, all of you. He already knows your heart anyway! He will never give up on pursuing you. He will bring you to the point of being honest. So, spare yourself the pain and be honest now. “But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: 
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6) Once we tell Him what we really want, then if those desires are not of Him, He will begin to mold our desires to fit with His plan. He will also use those desires to bring glory to Him. (Psalm 37:4)

When Jesus asked these men what it was that they wanted He began with what they wanted, and at the same time it was all along what He wanted. Is that not amazing! Our desires may not always be pure, but God will use them nonetheless. Ask God what are His desires for you this day. That's what I am doing right now.