No Fear

"There is no fear in love..." What does that really mean? No fear of punishment, no fear of retribution. I understand that part. Christ took our punishment. I no longer fear His wrath. Is that all that this statement is referring to? Not that that is not enough. Not having to fear that my sins will somehow eternally come back to haunt me, that the nameless fears of who and what I really am will not swallow me up and suck me down into a tube of black that will drown me in the end. That is no small thing. What about the fears that ravish my mind and hold me back from living the way the Lord of love wants me to live? Fear is a constant in my life. Fear of so many things. Fear of not really being loved, delighted in, cherished. Yes, God loves me enough to take care of my eternal state, but what about the everyday deep, deep longings that eat at my heart. You know those desires that want someone or something to treasure me. I think I stopped longing quite a while ago, lest I be disappointed all over again. I have looked for this kind of delight in human beings, and they come up short every time. Those that I truly love are left wanting in my presence as well. Is there really a love that satisfies the cavernous well that is bored into my heart? If we are always afraid, then we will never love, and fear leads to anger, resentment and disappointment. Been there, done that. I have also thought I could love God in a vacuum. Love without any expectations whatsoever. All this does is lead me to denial. A love that casts out fear, is one that lives in the dirt, the mire, the sin of everyday life. A love like that is completely a God thing and will not be achieved any other way except through the love of the Holy Spirit.

I John 4:10-21 (ESV)

10In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Isn't it interesting that John here says no one has ever seen God. Don't you feel the weight of that sometimes. If only I could talk to Him face to face, then I would really feel His love, be able to love others, heck I could even love my family the way He wants me too! I see the ones that I want to love all the time and they see me. I see the way they take me for granted, the same way I do them, the way they are selfish, the same way I am....ad infinitum! I sin everyday, they sin everyday, and they are the only ones I have ever seen! Then I enter the sanctuary of God and see Him. His love is on a completely different plane than I can ever imagine. His love is something that I will contemplate for eternity. My pittance of what I call love is always hidden in the muck and the mire of my sin, their sin, and the worlds sin. That is why we start with the fear of the Lord, how ironic. To cast fear out we combat it with the fear of a different color. I have to humble myself before the only one who really knows everything about true love, and then I proceed to love, if ever so dimly, like He did, in the sin of everyday life. Isn't that what He did? He loved us first, then He proceeded towards the cross. It seems I really don't know love at all.