Boneman's Daughters by Ted Dekker

I just finished a very disturbing book, Boneman's Daughters by Ted Dekker. The disturbing part is that it is the story of a serial killer and really explores the mind, motives, and methods of the said killer, who is killing young girls and breaking their bones in order to make up for the fact that Christ's bones were not broken at the crucifixion. I will not go into all the details, but some of Dekker's descriptions are pretty freaky. Usually when things are disturbing they some how illustrate reality in some way. Dekker's books are almost universally allegorical in nature. They illustrate some aspect of the Christian life or the Christian story. I don't know whether they fit the strict definition of allegory, but he loves to illustrate the bigger meta-narrative of the Christian Worldview in story form.

I found myself wanting to weep at the end of this particular novel, because he touched a raw nerve of mine. I have been very convicted lately of just how much I protect myself from any kind of hurt. Self protecting is a game I play very well, and recently the Holy Spirit has been showing me just how much. Fear is a factor that can easily take over my life. Not fear of drowning, or airplanes, or anything like that, but fear of how others can hurt me. I have found myself not just skirting relationships, but running the opposite way, even with my immediate family members. The more I run from human relationships, the more I run from Him. This shows a great deal of insecurity on my part when it comes to my Heavenly Father.

This is where Dekker's book comes in. The story involves the depths in which the Father in the story will go to save his daughter, who doesn't want to have anything to do with him. She is an adopted daughter who is being held captive by a serial killer. The dad walks through hell to save his precious daughter, all the while knowing that he could die at anytime. When the father finally gets to his daughter she rejects him at first, but he ends up saving her and nearly loosing his life in the end, and they are reconciled. You need to read the book to gain an adequate picture of this harrowing scene. It disturbed me, because it moved me to crying from the depths of my soul. You know, one of those really deep cries. There is a part of my heart that really doesn't grasp just how much Christ suffered for me, because He loves me. That's what this book is trying to illustrate, the depths, the price, and the suffering that Christ went through, because He loves me and wants me to be His daughter, to love, to cherish, to even honor me. If I truly, with all my heart, believed that Christ loves me that much, then I would not, as a habit, put such walls of protection around my heart. So, I am on a quest, a quest to actually experience that kind of love. A love that is open, free, giving, because He loves me first.

Always learning, Always exploring, Always onward......................Lynn