Happiness

"O Lord, Help me never to expect any happiness fr0m the world, but only in thee.  Let me not think that I shall be more happy by living to myself, for I can only be happy if employed for thee, and if I desire to live in this world only to do and suffer what thou dost allot me.  Teach me that if I do not live a life that satisfies thee, I shall not live a life that will satisfy myself. Help me to desire the spirit and temper of angels who willingly come down to this lower world to perform thy will, though their desires are heavenly, and not set in the least upon earthy things; then I shall be of that temper I ought to have.  Help me not to think of living to thee in my own strength, but always to look to and rely on thee for assistance.  Teach me that here is no greater truth than this, that I can do nothing of myself.  Lord, this is the life that no unconverted man can live, yet it is an end that every godly soul presses after; let it be then my concern to devote myself and all to thee.  Make me more fruitful and more spiritual, for barrenness is my daily affliction and load.  How precious is time, and how painful to see it fly with little done to good purpose!  I need thy help;  O may my soul sensibly depend upon thee for all sanctification, and every accomplishment of thy purposes for me, for the world, and for thy kingdom."

From The Valley of Vision

Lord, 

I know you gave Your whole self to us, and that is what You want from us, our whole selves in return.  Why is it that it "feels" sometimes that to give of myself to others isn't at all satisfying?  So often, it hurts.  

The Puritan writing above says we will not be satisfied unless we give ourselves completely to You, and to others.  I get it wrong much of the time.  I give myself to others thinking some where in the recesses of my mind that they are the ones that will never disappoint, never leave us, never gossip behind my back, or just walk out of my life forever.  I have heard of the saying; "I just want a God with skin on," and when I really look at the reality that is You, I did get a God with skin on, in the incarnation.  Since You did come, and took the form of a man, You were disappointed by many, You were gossiped about, You were left (even by the ones closest to You), and You bled and died alone.  I need your grace, your mercy, and the faith to keep on.  Help me to fight through the disappointments by people that seem to let me down. Help me to fight and wrestle with Your Word, it gives me all the reason to go on. I don't think I am where Paul was, rejoicing in suffering, but somehow by Your grace let me not strive towards anything, but loving and worshiping You.

Romans 5:3

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has pured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given to us."