The thorns of friendship

As I was leaving church today, it dawned on me that friendship is full of thorns and thistles. Especially for us "fairer" folk.  Now, this is not a new thought, but I continue to gain insights into my own heart, as well as the hearts of my fellow sisters, as we walk together on this road. To make matters very much worse, we sisters, in today's world, are constantly on the look out for the ideal family.  One that will meet all our needs, make us feel like "John-Boy, and Mary Ellen"on the Walton's.  By the way, my father hated that show, he would not let us watch it, actually, he would just leave the room and give us a hard time about watching it.  I never could understand why.  The older I get the more I realize that he did not want to confront the ghosts of his past. The hurts that had never been dealt with.  Obviously, he had grown up during the Great Depression, and obviously it had not been a family situation like the Walton's that he was accustomed to.  I know that deep down he wanted us to be that kind of family and it hurt him that we weren't.  He felt helpless to provide it for us.  In the same way, so many of us have grown up in families that did not get along, to say the least.  Then, when we become Christians, we think that we have found that family that the Bible speaks of.  The family that always loves, accepts, supports, holds on to, etc...etc.....  We go to church thinking that we have finally found it.  Then they, those people, let us down!  They are just like my family of origin is some ways, and the women are just like "them."  Ugh!!  

  Where do we ever get the idea that our church family and sisters are to be already in Heaven?  We are all on different planes spiritually.  We are all have different needs, and we are all immature, to some degree!!!  Our sisters are not to meet those needs that only Jesus can. Our church.family here has holes in it just as our growing up family did.  

God is working His will and His good pleasure through this new family of ours.  It is amazing to me to see how He works the thorns and the thistles for His glory.  As the Westminster Shorter Catechism says.

"What is sanctification?"

"Sanctification is a work of God's free grace, whereby we are renewed in the whole man after the image of God, and are enabled more and more to die unto sin, and live unto righteousness."

Let me illustrate it in another way.  The book club that I belong to just finished reading Great Expectations by C. Dickens.  It begins in the life of a very small boy named Pip.  He is about seven years of age when the novel begins.  His family members that are taking care of him make some bad decisions for him, for their own economic prospects.  These decisions change his life.  Then he makes some equally bad decisions.  The relationships that he thought would prove the most beautiful turned out to be the most sour.  Then the regrets about not nurturing the ones that he should have, came into clear view.  He learned through his regrets what relationships were all about. We follow him throughout his life, and see where he makes up for these regretful situations.  In the meantime, he has lost the supposed love of his life, and the one that could have truly been the love of his life.  He ends up more or less alone.  Except, he learned through it all!  He learned that relationships are to be gardens that we cultivate, work at, plant, weed, nurture, and let go.  He learned that he could be happy with seeing the people he loved happy.  

Where are we?  Are we only thinking about what we can get out of friendships?  Or are we thinking what we might give to those whom we love?  Jesus gave till it bled, we haven't even come close to that. 

Take this test:  What do you do when others do not include you in on everything?   How do you react?  Do you think of the others first, knowing that God is sovereign and has a great plan for you through it all?  Or do you wallow in self pity, feeling sorry for yourself?  

Lord, help me to be patient, kind, giving, even when I feel like I have been taken advantage of, and misunderstood.  Help me to keep giving even if it is only praying for those people that hurt me.  Your plan is for my good and your glory.  Help me to take my eyes off of myself and put them where they need to be-on Jesus and Him only.