Happiness

"O Lord, Help me never to expect any happiness fr0m the world, but only in thee.  Let me not think that I shall be more happy by living to myself, for I can only be happy if employed for thee, and if I desire to live in this world only to do and suffer what thou dost allot me.  Teach me that if I do not live a life that satisfies thee, I shall not live a life that will satisfy myself. Help me to desire the spirit and temper of angels who willingly come down to this lower world to perform thy will, though their desires are heavenly, and not set in the least upon earthy things; then I shall be of that temper I ought to have.  Help me not to think of living to thee in my own strength, but always to look to and rely on thee for assistance.  Teach me that here is no greater truth than this, that I can do nothing of myself.  Lord, this is the life that no unconverted man can live, yet it is an end that every godly soul presses after; let it be then my concern to devote myself and all to thee.  Make me more fruitful and more spiritual, for barrenness is my daily affliction and load.  How precious is time, and how painful to see it fly with little done to good purpose!  I need thy help;  O may my soul sensibly depend upon thee for all sanctification, and every accomplishment of thy purposes for me, for the world, and for thy kingdom."

From The Valley of Vision

Lord, 

I know you gave Your whole self to us, and that is what You want from us, our whole selves in return.  Why is it that it "feels" sometimes that to give of myself to others isn't at all satisfying?  So often, it hurts.  

The Puritan writing above says we will not be satisfied unless we give ourselves completely to You, and to others.  I get it wrong much of the time.  I give myself to others thinking some where in the recesses of my mind that they are the ones that will never disappoint, never leave us, never gossip behind my back, or just walk out of my life forever.  I have heard of the saying; "I just want a God with skin on," and when I really look at the reality that is You, I did get a God with skin on, in the incarnation.  Since You did come, and took the form of a man, You were disappointed by many, You were gossiped about, You were left (even by the ones closest to You), and You bled and died alone.  I need your grace, your mercy, and the faith to keep on.  Help me to fight through the disappointments by people that seem to let me down. Help me to fight and wrestle with Your Word, it gives me all the reason to go on. I don't think I am where Paul was, rejoicing in suffering, but somehow by Your grace let me not strive towards anything, but loving and worshiping You.

Romans 5:3

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has pured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given to us."

Humility is the source of our Strength

"Getting Ready for the Bridegroom"

Anyway

You can spend your whole life building, 

Something from nothing

One storm can come and blow it all away,

Build it anyway

You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach 

And you know it might not ever come your way

Dream it anyway

God is great, but sometimes life ain't good

and when I pray;

It doesn't always turn out like I think it should.

But I do it anyway, I do it anyway.

This world's gone crazy

And it's hard to believe

That tomorrow will be better than today.

Believe it anyway.

You can love someone with all your heart, 

For all the right reasons,

And in a moment they can choose to walk away

Love 'em anyway

God is great,  and God is good

And when I pray

It doesn't always turn out like it should

But I do it anyway, I do it anyway.

You can pour your soul out singing 

A song you believe in

That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang

Sing it anyway, sing it anyway.

"Man's Chief end is to Glorify Him, and ENJOY Him forever."

Westminster Shorter Catechism-#1

Father, 

I have been worried about all the plates I have been trying to keep whirling around and around above my head.  The plates all look different.  Some are small dessert plates that can only fit so much.  Some are large dinner plates crafted to fit entire courses of food.  I have come to the conclusion I have a much greater assessment of myself and my abilities than I ought.  If one of these plates falls and crashes at my feet, then it is You that will pick up the pieces and put them back together.  Why do I expend more energy than is necessary with the attitude that it is all up to me?  In fact, if I really let go of the plates would they all crash, or just the ones borne of my flesh and ego?  Help me to give them to You.  The plates that need to come down let them crash and burn.  They will all crash eventually anyway.  Even if I am able to publish curriculum, speak to dozens of women, one day I will be old and all I will want is my family. Nothing else will matter.  Give me only the ministry that You desire for me.  Let me worship You this day-Let me practice the art of loving You above all else; fame, fortune, visions of grandeur. Only worship will last.  When I am worshipping You, all the worry fades away. The plates, the things, the activities the dreams are Yours.  All that is Yours will last forever.  I have to be faithful, humble, and loving, and even those attributes are woven into my character by the master craftsman, no way can I credit them to my account.  As I worship You, let me then have an impact on others that you place in my path.   

Your Bride-Lynn

Ode to a Friend

Lots of pies are fattening,

Some are filled with the sweetest of goo,

Some serve the body, while others are just plain food.

Still some are made of Chocolate, made only for the rich.

But there is one pie that we all eat on occasion.

We never put it on the menu, nor would we dish it out.

It comes unexpectedly and sin is what it is all about.

But as we well recall from feasting on this pie,

It serves us better than any grand dessert.

The pie that I refer to cannot be bought or sold,

But is truly priceless and stands only next to gold.

Humility is the pie that tastes so bitter sweet.

But through Jesus the bitter becomes the sweet.

And only the Lord above makes this pie,

that cannot be beat.

"Ode to Margaret"

On her way to "the big school"

Plays basketball, soccer, loves Jesus, friends, and sisters.

Today is Mo's game, 

she is not after fame.

For one day she'll look back

 her blessings will never lack 

memories of joy, fun, friendship, and frivolity, 

that God gave her this year,  

sprinkled with tidbits of love, laughter and tears., 

she will always regard throughout the years, 

misty-eyed shadows that will never, ever disappear.

Play Great Mo!

I Corinthians 10:31

I Love you, Mom

My Front Porch at Raisin Cake Estates

 I won't always live where I live now.  Some day we will pack it all up and move to a different house, with different neighbors, different yards, rooms, and memories.  Lately, now that I am almost fifty, I have caught myself thinking more backward than I do forward.  I also have been given to sitting on the front porch looking out over my yard.  Nothing is permanent. Nothing will last forever.  

As I sit here, I recall the time that Karen broke both of her arms when she was 10, while riding the neighbor's scooter.  I can see all of our five children playing football, playing tag, or capture the flag with innumerable amounts of other kids from the neighborhood, from backyard Bible Clubs, or birthday parties.  I can also see girls dressed up in prom gowns taking pictures with their dates.  Smiling the smiles of dreams of knights in shining armor coming to sweep them off their feet.  Visions of others packing up as they go off to see what they are made of at the university.  At that point they are completely grown up (in their minds) and of course they know that they will change the world.  As we look on, wondering in how the falleness of reality will set into their souls, and they will then realize that He who holds the world in His hands will use them in ways that they have never dreamed of, and they will be humbled in the process, but He alone will gain the glory.  

On my front porch I see across the street to our neighbor's house.  About thirteen years ago my husband led the Dad that lives there to Christ, and life for them and us has never been the same.  Our daughters became best friends, our sons became best buddies, and we gained a family that will last for eternity.  Oh I know, we may very well loose them along the way. Distance could very well come between us, but eternity will always bring us back together. How many meals have we shared, how many tears, how many feuds, how many forgivenesses.  I can no longer count.  It doesn't really matter anymore.  For the past thirteen years they have been knitted to our hearts in ways that we can not describe.  I can also look down the street and see other friends that have graced our lives.  Children that I love, that I have seen grow, change, develop, accept Jesus and be spiritually renewed.  All from my front porch.  My blessings are as numerous as the pine cones that dot my pine straw. 

In my mind I can see the hundreds of people that have passed through my door to come to dinner, a small group, a chat, or a crisis situation.  The talks of life, priorities, laughs, Christ.  I see many, many people opening the Word seeing what God has for them and their lives, and their families lives.  I also see and feel the betrayals, the sting of hurts unmentioned, the anger, the annoyance of sin when it is confronted, as the messenger is shot, vomited on, and gossiped about.  That is when we sense in a very small, shallow way how our own sin caused the God of the Universe to say; "forgive them for they know not what they do."  All from my front porch. I can only surmise, dream, or contemplate the ways in the future in which God will once again dot my memories like pine cones at Raisin Cakes Estates,  where the pine straw is sprinkled with pine cones, memories, tears, and laughter.  What more could you ask out of life?

Scatter Brained Thoughts to Follow up on Friendship

Yesterday walking with friends, it dawned on me how very much I take them for granted.  They pray for me, tell me the truth, cry with me, laugh with me, and understand my quirks and forgive me, and some how love me.   Some people never have one friend, let alone multiple friends that have stuck with them through thick and thin.  

Not too long ago, a group of us went to New York.  I really do not know that I have ever laughed so hard in my life.  From the moment we arrived at the airport, Sondie never stopped talking to the cabbies, salesclerks, waitresses, bellhops, ANYBODY and EVERYBODY!!  She was a sight to behold.  We seem to always see the amazing qualities in others; when we know that we are not like that at all.  Fading into the background is the name of the game with me.  At the Met she explained anatomy to some guys that were then stressing over years, diets, or events to come.  She talked to a man on the phone that had just met a celebrity!  I thought she was going to bring he and his wife home for dinner.  It didn't matter that she was eavesdropping, all the world is not just a stage when you are Sondie, or when you are the star. No one identifies with the depth of my heart like Sondie.  She looks at people with the eyes of Christ, seeing each and everyone on the planet as created in the image of the Father.  

We went to the Broadway Play Wicked, and one of the lines of the songs says, "don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart."  She has wished, she has dreamed, and she has been ground into the dregs of life.  She knows what it is like to be hurt.  She also, knows that in Christ alone our wishes do come true, and she wants the world and all it's inhabitants to know who she has found.  

Lynette kept us all going the right way where ever we went.  She studied the maps, the walls, the stars.  She also fixed my hair and kept me on track in many other ways. I have admired in her for years for she is one of the best mothers I have ever met.  She not only helps all of us keep on track with our priorities, we see this as she models it before the world.  She teaches her girls about what is most important and they stand out as special godly, young women that love in a way that shows that they, as well, have their priorities in line.  

Staying up one night talking, we discussed friendships and the ways in which they enrich our lives, and some of the particular thorns and thistles that we as women go through.  As believers we are often tied to the "ideal," our expectations rule every relationship that we encounter.  Some of us, me especially, are tied to the the perfection and ideals of every aspect of life that Heaven is something that is sought, and I forget that it is not to be found in this place of the"not yet."  

  Belinda is grounded in reality more so than any of us.  In her solid, "brick-like" exterior, s=he has compassion for those that I would never even glance at.  She counts the cost, and obeys her Father.  I have learned from her that life is a marathon, not a sprint.  Many times I would have given up, and she simply explained that that really wasn't an option.  She has defied all the conventional wisdom of life, and through God's grace she has landed on her feet over and over again.  Gifted in her own unique ways, she is satisfied to be the Diva and we all do her bidding.  Ba-linda......

Cathy is a new friend that has been through suffering beyond her years.  She is beautiful inside and out.  Because of the suffering she has gone through she prays.  Ask her to pray about something and you know that you are being lifted up before the throne of grace.  When you are a prayer warrior, you have a great sense of the knowledge of your own sin and the reality of how very much you need Jesus.   When one has gone through suffering you know that when you come out the other side you realize the control of life has never really been yours in the first place.  Then to stay on your knees is the only rational place to be.  I look forward to the years to come and getting to know the intricacies of this beautiful life.  

Last but not least, Sandra the wise owl who only has to give you a look and you know that you shouldn't have said what you just said, or that you are loved through and through.  God dwells with this wise woman.  God uses her in myriad of ways, at times and in ways that she doesn't even realize.  She has suffered in her life, and she knows that much of it was brought on by her own sin and selfishness.  We all know this to be true, but how many of us are humble enough to use say it openly, and to use it for God's glory.  I love her, and all of these women, that are unique, and show the creativity, and character of God. 

 

"Because I knew you, (Sondie, Lynette, Cathy, Belinda, and Sandra) I have been changed for good...."

I'm limited

Just look at me - I'm limited

And just look at you 

You can do all I couldn't do,

So now it's up to you

For both of us - now it's up to you...

 I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

I have been changed for good

It well may be

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me 

Is made of what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring 

By a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a skybird

In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

 Because I knew you

 I have been changed for good

 And just to clear the air

I ask forgiveness

For the thing I've done you blame me for

 But then, I guess we know

There's blame to share

 And none of it seems to matter anymore

 Like a comet pulled from orbit

As it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Halfway through the wood

 Like a ship blown from its mooring 

By a wind off the sea

Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

 Who can say if I've been 

Changed for the better?

I do believe I have been

Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

 Because I knew you...

 Because I knew you...

I have been changed for good. 

..........From the Broadway Play, Wicked